California Juicin'

It was inevitable. 

Thanks to a summer of beers, state fair fried foods, wine gardens, and the discovery of so many indie pastry shops in Sacramento, I have begun to test the limitations of my dresses. No good. 

So my boyfriend does this thing where he goes on a juice diet for a week or two to cleanse, lose weight, and get that generally-awesome-high feeling that people get when they deliriously drink the gooey bits of fruits and veggies for an extended period of time. He was planning to kick off another juice diet on August 1st. I jumped on board. Why not? I've mastered protein shakes in my past, I could totally do it again! Fetch the blender!

So here we are 9 days and endless veggie/fruit/protein drinks later. I've lost 10 pounds. Hooray! 

But here's the not-hooray stuff I've learned about juice diets and myself over the past 9 days:

  • It took 1.5 days for my "Juice Diet" to morph into "Juice and Coffee and Sometimes Jameson On the Rocks Diet." I have no regrets.
  • Pinterest is a cruel place full of food porn. I can't stop looking.
  • Was so frazzled one day I wore my shirt inside out. All day. No one said anything! 
  • No food = tipsy after 1/2 a drink, trashed after 2, hiccups and sad times by 3. 
  • Jamba Juice feels like cheating, but tastes so good. If I make it "light" and "add protein" I actually feel OK with my JJ decisions.
  • All food looks delicious. Seriously. Anything. I watch old episodes of Bizarre Foods and drool all over myself. I'd eat a bowl full of brussels sprouts right now. Do you have any?
  •  Plateau days suck ass and make me want to buy one of every meat at Tankhouse, drowning my fatty sorrow and tears into my giant plate of BBQ.

It's nice that I've lost some weight. And there are lots of juice places here that make it more tolerable. Like Sun & Soil. Other than my persistent alcohol abuse (that'll never change, y'all, I'm from the south), I've decided to not totally fall off (jump off, rather) the juice wagon and land in the drive-thru of Del Taco; I'm going to do my damndest to stick with healthier choices. Proteins and veggies! And maybe a sporadic taco.